Hanzi

In China, there is a group of people who have been seen as "good students" since childhood. They listen to their parents, get high scores, attend prestigious schools, and eventually find decent jobs. To outsiders, their life path seems extremely smooth, as if every step follows a standard answer. However, when these "obedient children" enter society, they gradually discover that the smoothness of the first half of their lives does not seem to translate into happiness in the second half; instead, they fall into endless self-depletion.

After entering the workplace, these former top students are often the most prone to being taken advantage of. They are not used to refusing colleagues' requests and only silently endure unreasonable demands from leaders. They treat overtime as a regular occurrence but find that their efforts are not proportional to their rewards. In life, they are accustomed to keeping grievances to themselves, following the philosophy of "enduring for a moment to keep the peace." This label of "good student" is now making more and more people feel exhausted.

This phenomenon has sparked widespread discussion on the internet, and a group named “Victims of Good Student Mentality” has even appeared on social media platforms. This group has gathered over 100,000 people, and members are reflecting: Why have they worked so hard since childhood, yet life is so tiring? In fact, the core characteristic of the “good student mentality” is caring excessively about others' evaluations. The starting point of their actions is often to receive praise, and a tiny bit of negative feedback can plunge them into deep self-reproach.

In addition to craving recognition, “good students” are also accustomed to overexerting themselves. They don't dare to take sick leave even when ill, and they feel guilty and uneasy once they idle. They have an extreme fear of mistakes; even a small error is replayed repeatedly in their minds, leading to severe mental exhaustion. Over time, they have become used to obeying instructions from parents and teachers but have lost the courage to say “no,” eventually becoming “workplace beasts” who only know how to be obedient and do not know how to make demands.

The formation of this mentality is closely related to family education. Research shows that a significant proportion of families in China belong to "authoritarian" education. Parents are used to ensuring children's obedience through suppression and control; this "suppressive education" deprives children of the opportunity to explore themselves. Children who grow up in this environment, although behaving well and having excellent grades, are extremely insecure inside. Coupled with the singular evaluation system in schools, students feel that grades are everything, thus constantly living in the anxiety of declining performance.

However, the logic used on campus is often invalid in society. In school, one can get high scores just by following steps and rote memorization; but in real life, stronger flexibility and a sense of the big picture are often required. Many “good students” lose their way in complex interpersonal relationships and work after entering society because they lack the ability to filter and make choices. Some people, despite having degrees from prestigious schools and decent jobs, feel incredibly empty inside and even suffer from depression due to long-term pressure.

Now, "good students" are starting to try to "untie" themselves. People share self-rescue experiences in online communities, with the most core advice being "learn to refuse." Some even joke that one occasionally needs to show a "tough" side to effectively prevent others from crossing boundaries. Ultimately, these methods are teaching people how to put their own feelings first and stop sacrificing themselves without limits just to cater to social standards.

To truly break free from the "good student mentality," the most important step is to allow oneself to be an "ordinary person." Acknowledge that life will always have mistakes, work can occasionally be "muddled through," and fluctuations in performance are even more common. Only when good students learn to let themselves go and allow the existence of failure can life truly become relaxed. Change does not mean denying a brilliant past, but rather, in a complex society, killing that excessively repressed self to rediscover the vitality of life.