胁肩谄笑 — “Shrug shoulders and flatter with a smile”

Once, Gongsun Chou asked Mencius why ancient scholars did not actively seek audience with feudal lords. Mencius replied that in ancient times, if one was not a minister, one did not initiate visits to rulers.

He cited examples: Duke Wen of Wei visited Duan Ganmu, who jumped over a wall to avoid him; Duke Mu of Lu visited Xie Liu, who firmly kept his door shut. Mencius commented that these actions were somewhat extreme, but if a meeting was truly necessary or unavoidable, it could still take place.

There was a custom: if a high official offered a gift to a scholar who was not at home, the scholar had to personally visit the official's residence later to express gratitude. Yang Huo wanted to meet Confucius but was concerned about proper etiquette. So, he found a day when Confucius was out and sent him a ham.

Confucius, who had no fondness for Yang Huo and wished not to see him, used the same custom. He inquired when Yang Huo would be away from home and then went to Yang Huo's residence to return the courtesy, thus avoiding a direct encounter.

Mencius implied that if Yang Huo had simply visited Confucius first without such ploys, Confucius would have received him. It was in this context that Zengzi once remarked, 'To shrug one's shoulders and flatter with a smile (胁肩谄笑) is more exhausting and uncomfortable than cultivating vegetables in a summer garden.'